A New Adventure: Moving Across the Country as a Caregiver (and How It Relates to Parenthood)
This post is a little different from what I usually write because it’s aimed not just at caregivers like nannies and doulas but also at parents—and really, anyone facing a big change in their life. Moving across the country is a huge step, and it can bring up all kinds of emotions, from excitement to fear. As someone who built a strong network from scratch in New York, moving away from that support system feels like starting over. But when I reflect, I remember that I’ve done it before, which gives me confidence that I can do it again.
Tips for Building Your Network in a New Place
Start Online: Websites like Care.com and Sittercity have been my go-to for finding work, especially for nanny and babysitting jobs. They helped me get started when I first moved to New York, and I’m using them again in my new area. For those expanding into doula work, platforms like Bornbir and applying to agencies are also great ways to get your name out there. The key is to start early and be consistent.
Leverage Your Existing Network: Sharing your journey with your existing contacts can open doors you didn’t even know were there. When I told my network about my move, they connected me with people in my new area, provided references, and offered support. Your network is often bigger and more powerful than you think, especially when you ask for help.
Share with Those Who Want to Support You: Not everyone will understand your decision to make a big move, and that’s okay. I’ve learned to share my plans with people who genuinely want to support me. It’s healthier for me and keeps me focused on what I want to achieve. Just because someone else wouldn’t make the same choice doesn’t mean it’s not the right one for you.
Allow People to Show Up for You: One of the most heartwarming parts of this move has been seeing who shows up for us. We had a beautiful send-off from our friends in New York, my partner’s family hosted us for over a month, and my family is helping us as we settle in. Accepting help can feel vulnerable, but people want to help, and allowing them to do so can be incredibly rewarding.
Finding Opportunity in Big Changes
Big moves, like having a baby or starting a new job, are full of opportunities. They stretch us, challenge us, and ultimately help us grow. It’s not always easy, but I’ve found that these experiences leave me feeling proud and capable. They remind me of a day at a theme park—you arrive full of excitement and anticipation, ready for the rides, the food, the parades, and the fireworks. But then there are the lines, the heat (or rain!), and maybe a few cranky park-goers. At the end of the day, though, you’ve had an adventure—one with highs, lows, and everything in between.
This sense of adventure isn’t limited to moving. It’s something every parent experiences too. I’ve heard so many parents voice the same anxieties I’ve felt during my moves: “I have no idea what to expect,” “Maybe I’m not cut out for this,” “What if I fail?” While I may not have children, I can sympathize with those feelings. They’re universal in moments of big change.
Among all the steps you can take to prepare for significant changes, I believe having support is essential. It might take time to build that support network, but it’s worth the effort. And when you reach the other side of your journey, you’ll look back with pride, joy, and maybe a little exhaustion. You might even think, “I could do that again.”
