Social Media in Parenthood
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” We have all heard this quote attributed to Theodore Roosevelt. Yet it feels like we are forced into comparison in our modern world whether we like it or not. Social media has revolutionized the way we connect with others, allowing us to seek out niche information that can often fall through the cracks of a Google search. From recipe substitutions to health concerns, the internet offers straight-to-camera advice that can point us in the right direction. The number of times I have searched through Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube to gain insight into how a specific hair dye will develop on my hair is innumerable. It can be relieving and empowering to know that you are not alone in whatever you are seeking direction for, but it can also add more anxiety or confusion to the process.
Say you are a soon-to-be new parent curious about the kind of bassinet to get for your baby. A search on Google brings up lists upon lists of “The Best Bassinets and Bedside Sleepers,” “The 5 Best Bassinets,” “Testing 10 Bassinets to Find the Best for Your Baby,” and at the top of the screen, scrollable sponsored listings of all the options with their listed prices that you can click to buy RIGHT NOW! They all start to look the same, and how can you trust these sponsored lists? Did parents create them at all? Who is “testing” them? You may then turn to social media, seeking real human experiences and reviews of these bassinets. The journey ahead is one that no person could be prepared for.
Beige-colored Instagram posts of perfect families in their perfect homes with their perfect, clean, bright-eyed babies, who, of course, recommend the $1600 bassinet that the baby will grow out of in six months. In the process of this search, you may even be sucked into an account scroll where you are now seeing recommendations for bottles, diapers, washbasins, laundry detergent, and subscription plans for Montessori-style toys. Beyond your new list of baby items that you now must purchase, you are internalizing the cleanliness of their homes, the workouts the pregnant mother of four is doing, the diet she is maintaining while completing a family of six’s laundry, packing a healthy well-rounded lunch for her kids, taking the dogs on walks, and still somehow having enough energy to do the new viral dance with her husband.
“Influencer marketing, especially that directed toward families, preys on your insecurities and offers ‘solutions’ sometimes to ‘problems’ you had not even considered.”
It would take someone stronger than any deity to be able to take in all of that information without comparing themselves. I have even found myself comparing my routine to that of a family influencer, and I don’t even have kids! It is exhausting, and we haven’t even taken into account the comments. On that post about the bassinet, there are equal parts condemnations of the product and praises for the recommendation. Sprinkled in between are copious amounts of judgment for anything from the clothing the mother is wearing to the price of the product that, let's be real, was undoubtedly sent to the influencer to promote. You went in looking to find some help in making a pretty basic decision for your family and left with a laundry list of the trendiest items to buy, a new workout plan, and an immense amount of guilt for the life you won't be able to lead because you are not a family influencer.
Influencer marketing, especially that directed toward families, preys on your insecurities and offers “solutions” sometimes to “problems” you had not even considered. The constant stream of information and opinions online can make it feel like everyone else has it all figured out, while you are left feeling inadequate or like you are not doing enough. It's important to remember that social media is just a snapshot of someone's life, and we often don't see the challenges and struggles that come with raising children. There is no "one size fits all" when it comes to parenting. Every family is unique, and what works for one family may not work for another. As long as the decisions you make for your family are safe and healthy, they are the right decisions for you. It's okay to seek advice and support, but it's also important to trust your own instincts and do what feels right for your family.
Social media can also be a source of inspiration and connection for parents. It can provide a platform for sharing experiences and finding support from others who may be going through similar situations. It can also offer a way to stay connected with family and friends who may live far away. However, it's important to approach social media with a healthy perspective and not get too caught up in comparing yourself to others. At the end of the day, parenting is hard work, and it's important to give yourself grace and recognize that you are doing the best you can. When it comes down to something like your choice of bassinet the choice you make in your dedication to love and care for your child outweighs any high-tech features a company is trying to sell you.
